Reedy Branch

by WormDrill

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released January 3, 2017

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WormDrill North Carolina

An experimental combination of all sounds within the realm of music. dedicated to releasing something for every audience.

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Track Name: 1. All who seeks sight shall surley be blinded
My throat wouldnt open. it was as if the walls of my lungs had been lined with sand paper. i gasped, gripping onto the covers of my bed hoping that air would fill them. i gulped for oxygen and eventually my lungs filled with fire. the fresh oxygen felt like someone was dragging razors against the inside of my body. the exhale felt one hundered times worse. i opened my eyes and looked around the room for the light switch. i ran my dry, shaking hands against the walls feeling for the switch. "Flick" The lights flashed on and all i could see was bright, blinding white light. my eyes adjusted and i saw everything how i had left it the night before....in other words a fucking mess. i looked to the right side of my bed and looked at my phone. i had slept through and entire day and night. "Fuck! not again!" i screamed as i looked to the left side of me and saw the rig, spoon and empty baggie. i wasnt upset that i had used again, i was upset that it was all gone. i forced my body to sit up feeling as if every bone in my body was broken and every muscle was torn. my feet touched the ice cold floor. i walked over to my desk and got on my hands and knees. i crawled under the desk rubbing my hands across the ground for what little scraps and crumbs of weed i could find. i scraped up what i could. i picked out the small crumbs of weed from the dog hair and dirt and i sat it all on the table. i had about a penny size clump of weed. i immediately ripped a piece of papaer from the nearest book and rolled it up and lit it. i inhaled the entire puny joint in almost one hit. it wasnt Heroin, but it was literally all i had. i waited for it to kick in and the buzz came on and that was my cue to look for something to eat. i stumbled out of the door, limping to the kitchen. it was almost 1 in the afternoon. i walked into the kitchen and made two peanut butter and jelly sanwiches. gobbled them down like it was goddamn liquid gold. i grabbed a soda and chugged the entire can down in what felt like one gulp. i threw on a flannel, and some torn up jeans, slid on some shoes, grabbed my phone and immediately rushed to find someone who had a bun. i got in contact with my go to guy. he showed up 45 minutes after i told him i was jonesing and he pulled up. i walked over and got in the car, cigarette smoke pouring from my mouth, stains covering my clothes. i handed him a laptop because i had no money. i took the bag and got out of the car and started to walk away. before i know it i feel as if i had been hit by a tsunami. i fell to the ground, vision blurry, head spinning. i turn roll on my back and look up to see the end of a baseball bat pointed at my face with my own blood dripping from it. i mumbled out as much as i could "what the fuck are you doing man". its quite obviously he couldnt understand my mumbleing. he raised the bat and the last thing i saw was the bat lowering down into my face before everything went black......Happy 15th birthday to me.
Track Name: 2. Mailbox Deal
I took all the money from my birthday cards and immediately rushed to my friends place. in the car ride with my mom beside me driving, i could smell myself fuming in the car. i hadnt showered in days, possibly weeks. my legs shaking, my body sore from the muscle spasms and cramps from not using. the worst kind of addict is the kind that can hide their pain and self torture, almost as if wearing a smiley face mask. i looked at my mother, she asked how i was feeling and i told her of course "never felt better". i arrived at my friends house and ran inside. i rushed to his bedroom, slammed the door and sat on the end of his bed. "i need a taste man, just something to get be through the day and maybe a little for the night" i said. "dude i cant just give you this like its nothing anymore, its taken over you, you arent the guy i use to know anymore" he replied. i was so driven by the urge to just shoot up i completely disregarded the fact that he was my friend. i pulled a switchblade and stood up and began to approach him. he quickly stepped back and threw me a bag from his pocket. "im sorry man, you know how this goes" i ran out of the room and back to the car. "that was quick" mom said...."i had to borrow one of his xbox controllers" i replied. the drive home was torment to me and felt like hours. i popped in my earphones and drowned out the noise of the rode with music, the only thing that seemed to give me a glimpse of who i was before. we got home and i ran inside. slammed my door, put on some music and grabbed a needle. i grabbed the bag, pulled out the biggest clump that was in there. i heated the spoon, placed the lump on it, set the cotton on top, drew it up into the rig, tied my shoelace around my upper arm and slammed it into my forearm. i pressed down slowly on the syringe and felt my entire body lift up in the air. everything went quiet, all i could hear was the sound of my own breathe entering and exiting my body. my limbs fell, my eyes heavy. everything was at peace, the pain, the misery, all dissolved and blew away like ashes in the wind. i felt as if i was in the presence of god himself. i whispered ever so softly the words "i do not fear my death, for my death fears me" and into sleep i fell. i nodded in and out of blissful slumber for what felt like hours. i finally sat up and slowly paced over to the drawer to grab the bottle. Vyvanse 30 mgs. pretty much prescription cocaine. i took 3 to fight off the drowsyness. once those kicked in i immediately dropped my pants and reached for the laptop. not only was i just entering puberty but i was 500 sheets to the wind on Heroin. have you ever beat off on heroin ? or even beat off while high ? its a feeling unlike any other. right at the climax my knees gave in and i felll and busted my chin on the desk. i stood back up, spit out a mouthfull of blood and out fell a piece of my tooth. my dental hygene was foul to say the least. i hadnt brushed my teeth for atleast 3 or 4 months. my teeth where caked with plaq, and almost every one of them hurt. i still felt fucking amazing but i could feel it start to wear off, my mouth was as dry as a desert. my breathing was very tense and short. i texted Antonio to run and do a mailbox deal. for those of you who dont know what that is, its a way to make a drug deal or exhange whilst still living in your parents house. its efficient in the sense of being discreet but risky in the sense of the person delivering the goods, running off with your money. what you do is you run out to your mailbox, preferably done at night, put in the asked ammount of money, wait for a while and then the dealer or friend drives by and takes the money out and puts the goodies in. i dont reccomend doing it with someone you do not know well or someone you do not trust. the guy i have do it ive known for years. hes never wronged me or shortted me on any deal. so i asked him for a pack of smokes, A Silver dollar, which is just a small little baggie of Heroin. and a quarter of weed. i ran out, put the money in, 45 minutes later he pulls up, makes the exhange really quick and drives off. i grab the package, run inside, light up a cigarette and the roll a joint. i took it straight to the face and fuck it was great. i then nodded off to sleep on my floor with my dog.
Track Name: 3. Merry Christmas to all and to all a dreary night
It was early December. Christmas spirit was beginning to ring all throughout the house. Christmas has always been and still is to this day my favorite time of year. it almost brings tears of joy to my eyes, not because of presents and money but because of the sheer joy and happiness everyone spreads. all the misery of yesterday and all the arguments and disagreements of the past melt away. the tree was up, we where decorating as we do every year. sinatra and brian setzer rang rang throughout the house. hot chocolate and cookies. everyone gathered in one room. all enjoying laughter and joy. this year was different.....i wasnt focussed on the joy and laughter. i was only focussed on my next fix. i wasnt as focussed on the heroin as much. i still used it dont get me wrong but i had found something to substitute it out. it was cheper and i felt less shitty doing it. DXM or Dextromethorphan. found in robitussin, Delysm, and most other over the counter cough syrups and pills. i loved the shit. we where at my grandmothers house for holliday visits. i went to use her bathroom, and immediately rifled through her cabinets to find something to get in my system. i found delsym, my favorite way of consuming DXM. i snagged the bottle and went back into the living room. on the way home i held it in my pocket and of course shot up and went to sleep. the next morning was christmas eve, we had so many places to go, so many sides of the family to visit and i was not about to do all of that sober. i chugged the entire bottle, threw on some clothes and hopped in the car to go visit my other grandmother for lunch (R.I.P). we arrived and it was beginning to kick in. the lightweight feeling, almost as if youre walking on a cloud. i completely forgot how to construct sentences. my tongue felt as if it was a slippery fish. the furniture in the living room began to dance and jump as if it where alive. the noises and voices around me began to become distorted. i sank into the chair i was sitting as if i was melting and fell asleep. i was awoken by the sound of music. christmas music was playing in the house, everyone was about to gather and say grace before dinner. i sat up and stumbled into the dining room to say grace. i held my uncles hand to my right and to my left my grandfathers. they say grace. i stared at the floor and watched the tiles merge together and morph around the floor. i grab my plate of food and sit at the table. i scarf it all down like a stray dog and walk back into the living room for another nap. i knew if i stayed around someone would notice i was not well. i fell asleep and woke up to my mother telling me its time to go to the next place. off to simmons. simmons is an old relative of the family, im not quite sure how he is related to me be, but we visit his house for my mother's father's side of the familys chritmas gathering. we arrive late around 7 pm. im still tripping out of my mind and itching to shoot up. i vanish off to the restroom to use. of course i brought it with me, i bring it everywhere. i shoot up but not much, just enough to give me a taste. i walk out and sit in one of the chairs and every begins to sing chritmas songs as tradition. of course everyone sings jingle bells and rudolph and here comes santa claus, but my father sings one of my all time favorite christmas song solo. everyone begs him to do it because he has such an amazing voice. everyone went silent and he began to sing the first verse of O' Holy Night. and as high as i was hearing my dad sing that song almost completely made me sober. my family all silent sitting around me. im wearing torn clothes, i smell of feces and vomit, and im completely ignoring them all for drugs. the people who raised me and love me more than anything else in this world all in pain watching me destroy myself. a tear came to my eye as my dad continued singing. all i could think about was my little brother and what he thinks of me. his first words when he was a baby was brother. he idolizes me and what example am i here setting for him. what am i doing for him other than showing him what not to be when he grows up. all the years i would ignore his offers to play video games with me or go for a walk outside with me, just simple things just because i was too high or too fixated on being high, my own brother. my best friend.........i felt like utter shit. my dad finished the song and everyone clapped. all i could do was sit and stare and fight sleep. we finally leave around 10 pm. we get home and we lay out cookies for santa. we read twas the night before christmas as a family and then i dissappear off to my room. i layed down on my bed, empty, broken. i scream out into my pillow "God where are you!!" i felt the need to take something or shoot something or snort something or smoke something but i couldnt move. my body was glued to the bed. all i could do was lay there and cry. i force myself up to shoot up again. i did. i then walked outside onto the porch and stared at the snow. i felt the cold wind hit my face. the sharp icy pain of cold struck my bones. i walked out into the woods. the cold winds felt like needles piercing my skin, but it did not bother me. i welcomed it. i walked for hours, until i couldnt anymore. i fell to the ground beside the frozen over lake. i stared at the ice, miserably wishing for something to happen but nothing. just silence. i crawled close and pushed in the ice and broke it, the cold water underneath completely numbed my finger. i layed there for what felt like hours contemplating jumping in. i eventually got up and forced my frigid body back towards the house. i finally got inside and jumped in the shower to warm up. the hot water burned like fire against my skin. i got out and layed back down in bed. i fell asleep. merry christmas to all and to all a dreary night.
Track Name: 4. The Ballad of the stilt walkers
i was on a hospital bed. shaking. in excruciating pain. questioning everything. my sanity, my life, my existence. i had overdosed. 45 pills, all at once. not in an attempt to end it. in an attempt to get so high i forget my name. my heart racing, everything happening all so fast. i survived that night. and never touched drugs again. that night i nearly lost my life,..not due to medical issues, due to suicide. that night i saw my family stare at me on the hospital bed with tubes and cords all hooked up to me. i saw my brother and my mom and my dad all look at me with faces of misery. it woke me up to the damage i was causing towards everyone. this short story book is not meant to be shocking. this book is meant to open the eyes of those who have gone through the pain of addiction or know someone who has. if you are someone who is addicted to heroin. you will die. you are going to kill yourself and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. it will happen. the only thing that can stop you from death is Love. Love from family, Love from friends. you have to open your eyes and heart to the Love. i walk throughout life everyday regretting every decsision i have ever made. the drugs have caused me to develope a Panick disorder. Almost every single day i will sit through torment and torture for no reason whatsoever. this isnt self diagnosed either. this is diagnosed by numerous doctors, infact the doctors say i should be on medication but i refuse to touch any drugs for the rest of my life. even if its to help me. my life will forever be changed because of heroin. it will never be the same. i will never see life the same. it is precious, and it is short. hold on to the ones in your life who have stayed with you through struggle. your family, your friends, all of them. i will never forget the feeling of heroin. yet i will also never forget the feeling of staring into an icy river in attempt to throw myself in it. i would give anything in the world to trace back time and undo all my faults. to not hurt my brother and my parents. to not steal from people who trusted me. to not neglect my girlfriend in all the ways i did. to not be the monster i made myself in to. seek Love, Seek Help. and never forget.....The only thing we have to fear is death. its coming. its very close. its unwelcomed and unstoppable. it is ever present within us and lurks behind us like a shadow. before it consumes you, make sure you cherrish every moment you have here. no one knows the hour or the day. No one knows when it will become you.